IC Contact

[dogsled]

This is Benton Fraser speaking. If you would kindly leave a message with your name and number, I will return your call at the earliest opportunity. Thank you.

Comments

[kickem]

I dunno. My turtle doesn't get on with pretty much anyone, Fraser. Stays in his shell too much if I got company around. I can't trust a random stranger with him around.

[dogsled]

I suppose he prefers the company of women; their soft voices no doubt produce less vibration.

[kickem]

Hah, soft voices. You have met Frannie and Stella, right?

[dogsled]

I'm not sure I know what you're talking about.

[ He does. ]

[kickem]

Hardeharhar, Fraze. Don't try play innocent with me. You've got a softer freakin' voice than those lot have.

[dogsled]

So what you're saying is your turtle prefers the company of men.

[kickem]

Maybe!

[This makes no sense to his alcohol filled brain. Or his normal brain, tbh.]

Maybe he just prefers the company of you.

[dogsled]

...Turtle prefers me?

[kickem]

Maybe. I dunno. I'd have to ask him.

[Because obviously the turtle talks.]

Hey uh. Speakin' of. You ever actually start back up on the apartment hunting thing?

[dogsled]

I gave up. I'm afraid I won't ever find an apartment on my salary; certainly not one within easy walking distance of the Consulate. Perhaps if I bought a car...

[ Pretend oblivious. ]

[kickem]

Nah, Fraser. You and cars just aren't a thing.

I live pretty close by though, right? It's not so far.

[dogsled]

You do. You do. [ Thoughtful noise. ] And I suppose your apartment is rent controlled?

[kickem]

Sure, sure. I could have a uh, another occupant without any changes.

[dogsled]

Is that an invitation?

[ He's going to make him say it. ]

[kickem]

If uh. If you wanna. I mean I guess I can trust Dief with the turtle.

[dogsled]

Well I'd need a little more commitment than that, Ray, if I'm to share your home, the burden of paying the rent. I'd need...let's see... A shelf, at least, in the bathroom. And a foot and a half of wardrobe space.

[kickem]

Hey, I can manage that. I need a clear out anyway. I am all over that. You need space? I got space.

[dogsled]

And Diefenbaker will need somewhere to sleep, of course. He likes to have a rug at the foot of the bed.

Actually he prefers the bed, but I'd rather not encourage that sort of behaviour.

[kickem]

Dief can have whatever he wants. I can even get one of them fancy dog beds. Or like. A super furry rug.

[dogsled]

You mustn't spoil him, Ray. He'll come to expect it from you.

[kickem]

Friends can spoil friends. That's what friends are for.

[dogsled]

Yes, but--well... Well okay. But you're not to treat us like houseguests. If we're to share an apartment, then it will be our home.

Which of course means occasionally allowing me to have control of the remote.

[kickem]

Hah, no. You don't even watch TV. That remote is mine.

[dogsled]

That's not true. I watch winter sports.

[kickem]

There is a curling ban in my house.