IC Contact

[dogsled]

This is Benton Fraser speaking. If you would kindly leave a message with your name and number, I will return your call at the earliest opportunity. Thank you.

Comments

[kickem]

Well they're still livin' in a mobile home so it's like... Not even like that. Mom would totally kill me if she knew I left you alone on Christmas day.

[dogsled]

And I would be greatly disappointed in myself should I turn down such a warm and kindly invitation.

[ He is blushing. He's lucky it's just a phonecall. ]

It would be my pleasure to join you, Ray. I'll bring a change of clothes.

[kickem]

Yeah, you sure as hell can't turn mom down. She'll kill ya.

Don't wear anythin' fancy. And uh, read up on the GTO manual, yeah? That's all dad will talk about.

[dogsled]

Does that mean I can take it out of the glovebox?

Ray--Ray, thank you for this. Even with Diefenbaker as company, it can be...very lonely here at the Consulate.

[kickem]

Ugh, yeah I suppose you'll have to. And stop with the thanking. I'm the one that should be thanking.

[dogsled]

You needn't thank me. Ray. You're--well, you're not used to living alone, I suppose. It can't be easy.

[kickem]

Exactly. So you're like, doing me a favor or whatever. Otherwise I'd be drinkin' alone on Christmas day too.

[dogsled]

Perhaps... Well, you might consider looking for a roommate. Your apartment is certainly large enough.

Someone who gets on with your turtle, naturally.

[kickem]

I dunno. My turtle doesn't get on with pretty much anyone, Fraser. Stays in his shell too much if I got company around. I can't trust a random stranger with him around.

[dogsled]

I suppose he prefers the company of women; their soft voices no doubt produce less vibration.

[kickem]

Hah, soft voices. You have met Frannie and Stella, right?

[dogsled]

I'm not sure I know what you're talking about.

[ He does. ]

[kickem]

Hardeharhar, Fraze. Don't try play innocent with me. You've got a softer freakin' voice than those lot have.

[dogsled]

So what you're saying is your turtle prefers the company of men.

[kickem]

Maybe!

[This makes no sense to his alcohol filled brain. Or his normal brain, tbh.]

Maybe he just prefers the company of you.

[dogsled]

...Turtle prefers me?

[kickem]

Maybe. I dunno. I'd have to ask him.

[Because obviously the turtle talks.]

Hey uh. Speakin' of. You ever actually start back up on the apartment hunting thing?

[dogsled]

I gave up. I'm afraid I won't ever find an apartment on my salary; certainly not one within easy walking distance of the Consulate. Perhaps if I bought a car...

[ Pretend oblivious. ]

[kickem]

Nah, Fraser. You and cars just aren't a thing.

I live pretty close by though, right? It's not so far.

[dogsled]

You do. You do. [ Thoughtful noise. ] And I suppose your apartment is rent controlled?

[kickem]

Sure, sure. I could have a uh, another occupant without any changes.

[dogsled]

Is that an invitation?

[ He's going to make him say it. ]

[kickem]

If uh. If you wanna. I mean I guess I can trust Dief with the turtle.

[dogsled]

Well I'd need a little more commitment than that, Ray, if I'm to share your home, the burden of paying the rent. I'd need...let's see... A shelf, at least, in the bathroom. And a foot and a half of wardrobe space.

[kickem]

Hey, I can manage that. I need a clear out anyway. I am all over that. You need space? I got space.